female singer/songwriters month(?) : jaymay

it's no longer february and it's even beyond a period of 31 days, but the well just runs so deep. jaymay comes by way of new york city...and that's about all i know about her. but of course, all you really need to know about these singer/songwriters is what the music sounds like. her debut full-length, autumn fallin', has all the hallmarks of an artist who sings to keep herself sane, keep herself safe, keep herself alive. a beautifully weary but somehow resolute voice rises and falls over the landscape of a beautifully torturous but somehow hopeful relationship, and there is a sharpness in spirit and wit in lyrics that seem to float above a euphony of backing acoustic guitars, xylophone, piano, and strings.

the standout track is a nearly 10 minute meandering discourse of a woman setting herself straight after the hurt of a soured relationship, unleashing a measured fury that serves as an injection of self-confidence but simultaneously reveals the degree of heartache that the singer is attempting to overcome. she's attempting to leave by backing out the door, and it's a rambling folk song full of fits and starts that to these ears could only be described as dylanesque.

jaymay : "you'd rather run" (myspace)
from the lp autumn fallin' (blue note, 2008)

run your fingers through your hair, let's pick up from where we left off
call all your friends, announce the new victory
once you were sweet to me--knock it off

the music doesn't move you, doesn't soothe you doesn't prove you're worth a dime
you work 'round the clock, watch it tick and tock, but this isn't your time
move over son, it's my turn to shine

was there ever a moment, one small slice in history when i took you seriously?
when your belt and your shoes did not announce your poor taste so fearlessly?
'cause that's news to me

and you can forget it, i get it, i just don't let it get to me
i regret to inform i do not fret or mourn the way things used to be
it's all in the past now, it's all gone

and the only way into the sun is walking, but you'd rather run
you'd rather run away

the songs he writes are for "dad" the true love he lost 'fore he ever had
if stories begun "if father loved son" we wouldn't be feelin' so bad
but doesn't everyone?

and it's not that i hate you i never loved you enough to hate you
to get even or mad so as not to seem sad just seems ungrateful
'cause i'm thankful i'm sad

maybe we're the same unabashed and unashamed then again i dunno where you came from
you keep carvin' out names--first jamie then james and i cannot keep up to restrain you
how come?

we two came together for worst and for better it's true
and the weather is clever but she's not the only one getting over you
it's me, too

and the only way into the sun is walking, but you'd rather run
you'd rather run away

my god, it's no fun to watch you play dumb with your ugly hand on her thigh
and she's nervous too, but politeness eschews the impulse to finger deny
plus your girlfriend's a spy

and what would she think to look up from her drink and find you
in your sad little vest tryin' hard to undress the girls you sat down next to
she'll think nothing--she'll be thinking of you

i'm glad i don't know the places you go, i'm glad for you and for them
let's be discreet if we are to meet on ludlow ever again
don't mention ben

it's funny what you miss, it's funny what you don't
but i've thought it all through, the potential to fondly reminisce is this:
i won't

and the only way into the sun is walking, but you'd rather run
you'd rather run away

don't say we got along, that's remarkably wrong, it doesn't suggest or imply
the thing about us you don't dare discuss
we never got along famously, we just tried

i tried to be good, i tried to be gracious and kind
but working with you has done nothing but prove a total waste of time
'cause the real curse is your mind

sometimes at night i stare at the ceiling and i wonder what's wrong with me
to involve myself with people who don't know what my
true feeling might possibly be

who latch onto my strength like it's all they have got
it takes all of my strengths and i go through such lengths to show them it is not
what they think they are stealing

and the only way into the sun is walking, but you'd rather run
you'd rather run away

yes, the only way into the sun is walking, but you'd rather run
you'd rather run...away