sand is overrated

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

it's just a number...right?

i have a birthday coming up. next tuesday. sort of a big one. i have been pondering whether if i refuse to acknowledge it, will it still occur? if i really have to acknowledge it, can i go back a year instead of forward a year? is it possible to legally change my age?

along with the genes in my blood comes the blessed curse of never looking my age--i probably haven't looked my age since i was eight. i know i'll be grateful when i'm 40, but for now it's just a bit of an annoyance for people to always be surprised when i tell them how old i am. if i don't look as old as i am, if i don't feel as old as i am, if my friends are all 4-5 years younger than i am, why do i have to be as old as i am? at this point you are wondering...well, how old is he? well, since nobody ever thinks i'm as old as i am, i figure that gives me carte blanche to be as young as i can get away with. so if you ask me how old i am, i will ask you, how old do you think i am? and that will be your answer. i am only as old as you think i am...well, as long as you think i'm at least 21. deal?

in all seriousness, there are other issues coming along with this birthday that have taken up residence within my brain. when it comes to work and school, i have yet to find that moment of pure clarity that illuminates the desired path for seemingly everyone else. i like this niche that i have carved out for myself, and feel lucky every day to have the positions i do. but somedays there is that wonder, that curiosity, that feeling, that maybe i'd be a little bit happier doing something else. it's a struggle sometimes and one that i am feeling the need to resolve before it becomes overwhelming and all-consuming. the new year is just around the corner and perhaps with it will come a stroke of luck or a divine intervention. or, maybe i'll find some initiative on my own and take care of this matter for myself. in the meantime, is it naïve to say, "who cares if you don't know what you want"?

matthew sweet : "get older" mp3
from the lp 100% fun (volcano records, 1995)
who cares if you don't know what you want
'cause they don't know what they've got
and you cannot resist

get older
your memories won't slip away
and you'll be glad
when you get older
that you were happy for today

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"when it comes to work and school, i have yet to find that moment of pure clarity that illuminates the desired path for seemingly everyone else."

I don't know about anyone else but I changed my major 4 times before I finally settled on Creative Writing...Everyone feels this pressure to be a certain stage of their lives at a certain age and it is just ridiculous because everyone is different and U-Turns are legal. All I know is this life is all I have (in this body anyway) and I will be damned if I am not going to do what makes me happy.

À la vie

December 20, 2006 at 3:21 PM  
Blogger tad said...

thank you for the perspective, rachel. it's definitely something i need to figure out for myself, but hearing other people's opinions is always appreciated.

December 20, 2006 at 7:09 PM  
Blogger Andy said...

"who cares if you don't know what you want"

hear hear! Life is about finding what you want and that may take time. Hell, it's taken me years and I still don't know what I want. Find your own way and dont take crap from anyone about it.

December 20, 2006 at 8:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had lots of friends who found turning 30 traumatic or at least a little unnerving. I didn't know what they were talking about, but when I turned 35 I got pretty depressed. I realized it was because I was now as close to 40 as I was to 30. I was OLD.

But, 40 passed and now I am what once would have seemed an ancient age -- 47 years old. And I still feel young.

Otherwise why would I be trolling The Hype Machine?

Nice post. From my experience people follow many different paths in their lives and you can't really tell who is doing it "right" and how it will all turn out.

Rock on,

Bruce K.

December 21, 2006 at 7:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello & Seasons Greetings from down under in New Zealand. You will be 29 !!! (hehe) You are only as old as you feel - age is but a number that increases each year and just as long as all your bits still work, who cares. But more importantly is its not the outside that counts - it's the inside and how you treat people / KARMA.
Hope you have a good one - stay away from the gin.

December 21, 2006 at 3:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People may never learn that assuming ages is stupid, but you can learn that ages don't matter so much. I know it's cliché, but an age is just a number. Happy early birthday :)

-Kristen

December 21, 2006 at 10:50 PM  
Blogger tad said...

andy - thanks for the affirmation. when i said that "seemingly everyone else" knows what they want to do, i was obviously exaggerating, but hey it's still nice to see so many others have the same feelings

bruce k. - who said anything about turning 30? ;-)

kelvin - hey, good to see you again :-) you've got the right idea--29....yeah...i like it

kristen - thank you for the early birthday wishes. i'll pretend i didn't hear you though ;-)

December 22, 2006 at 6:45 AM  

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all songs posted are for evaluation only. if you hear something you like and would like to hear more, please go ahead and support the artists by buying their music--i will always include links for you to do so. copyright holders: if anything on my site needs to be taken down, please email me and it will be removed immediately.

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